orphan

two days before, i did watch one of the most-talked about movie in 2009, Orphan. i watched this movie before this with a couple of friends, just that i couldn't hear any of the whisperings and explainations because i was watching with two other friends and the audio wasn't that good. so, i was not satisfied, and i watched again, this time, it was just me. 

this movie has taught me a lot. that;s the whole idea of watching a movie right? you take the good things in it and totally forget about the not-so-important parts. *and the other thing about movies is i'll write reviews on them. tehee...* 

first of all, the whole idea of a mother losing her child during labor is heartbreaking. be it one year, two years, the terror follows her wherever she goes. as a husband, he should do more than just letting your wife meet a 'shrink' every week. you should be talking to your wife about how she feels about losing the child, grief together as a family-include the kids, pray for the little kid, and soon, the mother would move on with life. she finally would be able to let go of the kid, and focusing on her kids, husband and career. so, that's mistake #1. 

next, a mother-in-law, should be more than understanding when it comes to the daughter-in-law's career. she might be facing her downfall of her career, and the last thing she need is sarcasm from her mother-in-law. by right, a mother-in-law should be more than understanding and provide the daughter-in-law with some space for her to pick herself up again. in this case, the best thing a mother-in-law can do is just keep quiet. obviously, the lady has faced so much in life, she needs support & time, not sarcasm. 

the third thing that bugs me is the fact of adopting a grown-up kid. what's up with that? if you really wanna adopt a kid, try a younger version of a kid. i mean, that's the whole thing about adopting, right? how could you ever thought adopting an older kid would not cause you any trouble? older kids think twice as fast a younger kid, and they have learnt a lot in the world, nothing would ever stop them, they manipulate you. so, yeah, that's also a mistake. so, peeps, if you're thinking of adopting someone, try a younger child. younger kids are very naive, they play around, they make your day!

mistake #4. you might adopt a kid, but your kids are not to be pushed aside. plus, your kid is a boy. who would ever want to hang out in the living room, opening up presents and be happy? i mean, you're not even my sister and you dress funny! as a dad, you should be paying attention to your kid, even though you've adopted another one. a great dad would be able to find times to spend with all his kids. i totally get the idea that orphans need more love and affection, but your kids are not to be pushed aside. not an option! 
well, that's not all. parents should have the whole idea of privacy no matter where they go, what they do. there's no such thing as parents keeping their bedroom door unlocked. there are things that should only be shared between a husband and a wife. these things are called PRIVATE stuff. private stuff needs privacy. these include having intimate times, discussing about kids, career, medications and even secrets. these stuffs listed above should only be shared among the two, not to be heard by anybody at all. nobody should discuss about their kids' behaviour in an open area, be it the kitchen or the living room. go out, have a walk, whisper while you're in the bedroom. after all, bedroom is the most private place of all in a house. when dealing with other people, talking about sensitive issues, set a date, talk over dinner, never talk in the house when the child is present.

last but not least, one should really go through with a kid's past before adopting them. ask the person in-charge of everything you want to know. where she came from, who adopted her first, how did that relationship went. if there's anything fishy about the kid, seek for answers. if the answers are too complicated, pick another kid. it's not like there aren't any kids around to pick as an adopted child. 
one more thing i realized when i watched this movie is there's lack of mother-daughter or father-son or father-daughter or mother-son relationship. i mean, the parents talk to their kids over dinner and after school, but the parents never really sat down and give 100% attention and having a good conversation with their kids. the parents son't spend much time with their kids, which led their kids to trouble. the boy in the movie hang out in his tree house most of the time, checking out porn magazines, have no idea how to communicate with his sister, talked the least to his mother after school. parents should really sit down one-on-one with their kids, spend some quality time with their kids. there should be trust in the relationship. only then, problems can be avoided. obviously, there's not much trust going on in the family. when the mother asks her kids if Esther was threatening them, or making them feel uncomfortable, both the kids shook their heads, because they were so scared and they believe their mother won't make things better. by right, the kids should let their mother know what's been going on. and this could be accomplished, with trust!