pelik but true?

selalu kita dgr org ckp kt ceramah & ustaz2 mengajar kt sekolah, kita kena lawat @ ziarah org yg dah meninggal, so that timbul kesedaran yg kita semua akn kembali pada Allah. but trust me, feeling tu akn mai bila kita sndiri experience bnda tue. slama nie, i knew that we were going to die someday, but then kita x berapa nk rasa sgt yg hidup kt dunia nie kejap ja...(okeyh, i'm crapping! back to the point k?)

my point is, i actually felt yg i won't live any longer when my dad recited the doa during a kenduri for my late grandpa. he said something like, 'tanpa dia, siapalah kami. kami akn menemui-Mu juga Ya Allah' ada la lagi yg my dad ckp, yg pastinya, i sobbed silently bila dgr doa tue. serious, masa tue gak i felt like Allah masih let me live on earth for a reason.

and then, tadi i walked my way to the driving centre. i walked pass a graveyard and i couldn't help but say in my heart as i looked at the graves, 'Wahai ahli kubur! jangan risau, x lama lagi, ema pun akn join korang' coz that's one of the things u should say besides giving salam & reciting surah al-Fatihah. as i walked, i kept looking at the graves and it brought chills to my spine. i saw holes and imagined how deep 6 feet would be. scary huh? and also, i couldn't help but to think will there be people visiting my grave? will there be people praying for me, reciting doa for me? 

perut dah rasa something wrong masa tue, sbb takut sgt @ byk fikir...

but the great thing is that bestie pun ckp psl death gak, by posting something on fb psl death. 

this is actually the poem yg bestie posted. ema paste kt sini ek?

إذا ما قال لي ربي - قصيدة أبكت الإمام أحمد If my Lord is to ask me- the poem that made Immam Ahmad cry.

(إذا ما قال لي ربـــّي )

إذا ما قال لي ربي .. أما استحييت تعصيني

  وتخفي الذنب عن خلقي .. وبالعصيان تأتيني

If my Lord asks me 

 “Have you no shame in disobeying me? 

You hide your faults from my creation  

yet full of sin you come to Me" 

فكيف أجيب يا ويحي .. ومن ذا سوف يحميني

 So what will I answer? O' Woe to me, 

and who shall protect me do you see?

أسلي النفس بالآمال .. من حين إلى حين

I keep forestalling my soul 

 with thoughts of hope from time to time  

وأنسى ما وراء الموت .. ماذا بعد تكفيني

And forgetting what is to come after death,

and after I am warped in the sheets of the dead 

 

كاني قد ضمنت العيش .. ليس الموت يأتيني

As if I have guaranteed living forever, 

 and that death will not overcome me

وجاءت سكرة الموت الشديدة من سيحميني

  Then the harsh drunkenness of death overtakes me,

who now will be able to protect me? 

نظرت إلى الوجوه أليس منهم من سيفديني

I looked at the faces, is there not from amongst them 

who will  ransom me?  

سأسأل ما الذي قدمت في دنياي ينجيني

I will be asked 

 what have I put forth in my life to save myself

فكيف إجابتي من بعد ما فرطت في ديني 

 So what will I answer, 

after I’ve been neglectful regarding my Deen

ويا ويحي ألم أسمع كلام الله يدعوني

O’ woe to me, did I not hear the

Speech of Allah calling  out to me??

ألم أسمع لما قد جاء في ق و يس

Did I not hear what has come in Qaaf'n, wa Yaseen'i

ألم أسمع بيوم الحشر يوم الجمع والدين

Did i not hear of the day the crowds will be summoned, 

the day we will be collected, and the day of al-Deen'i

ألم أسمع منادي الموت يدعوني يناديني

Did I not hear the caller of death 

calling me; seeking me

فيا رباه عبد تائب من ذا سيؤويه

O my lord a slave to you I come repenting, 

who than shall grant me shelter?

سوى رب غفور واسع للحق يهديني

Other than an oft-forgiving Lord, 

to the truth he will guide me

أتيت إليك فارحمني وثقل في موازيني

I  have come to you, so have mercy on me, 

and make heavy my weights

وخفف في جزائي أنت أرجى من يجازيني

And lighten my reckoning you are the best 

of who will bring me to reckoning

Translated by Abu Hamza