'manjakanlah anak kamu untuk 7 tahun yang pertama, untuk 7 tahun yang kemudiannya, bersikap tegas dengan mereka. Untuk 7 tahun yang seterusnya, sayangilah mereka, kerana di saat ini, mereka amat memerlukanmu'
now, it's my turn to explain what is the hadith talking about. so, (logically thinking), pada 7 tahun pertama tu refer to anak2 dalam lingkungan usia bayi hingga ke usia 7 tahun. ibu bapa kena manjakan anak-anak time nie, so that anak2 tahu yang mak ayah dia sayangkan dia. selalunya masalah budak2 arise sebab diorang rasa mak ayah diorang abandon diorang. i've met one toddler yang merajuk ngan mak dia smpai x nak cakap ngan anybody, she just shuts herself down. and all because her mum doesn't pay attention to her.
in my case, Alhamdulillah, mak abah ema paid attention to me when i was little. i got almost everything i ever needed as a child. ada mak & abah, abah bag ema pegi beli asam kt belakang kampung every evening, boleh ronda2 kampung...i get to choose where my family dines out masa kecik2 dulu. hehehe...
lepas tu, hadith tu cakap ibu bapa kena tegas dengan anak2 in the next 7 years, meaning anak2 tu dah umur 8 smpai 14 tahun. kenapa kena tegas ngan anak2 time nie? sbbnya, at these age, budak2 akan start tengok mak ayah dia. apa yang mak ayah dia buat is what dia akan buat. so, time2 ni, kita dah kena tegas ngan anak2 kita pasal sembahyang. sbb tue, menurut Islam, kalau anak2 yang usia 7 kalau still x sembahyang, mak bapak boleh pukul anak2. see the significance?? so, it's very important utk parents to be strict with children. tambah2, anak2 plak dah masuk sekolah, parents kena strict ngan results yang anak2 dapat. lahirkan rasa competitive in the child masa belajar. (that' what my mum did to me & my siblings) and then, when they get older, start la hormonal changes in the body, so ibu bapa kena lebih tegas ngan anak2. kena ajar anak2 utk hormat org yg lebih tua, duduk dengan lebih sopan, ajar tentang aurat, sunnah Rasulullah...these things are very important sbb bnda ni la yang akan jadi foundation bila anak2 dah meningkat dewasa. parents kena strict in giving @ buying stuff to children. kena ajar anak2 about berjimat-cermat, buying stuff that are REALLY needed only. stuff like that la. don't encourage anak2 untuk keluar ngan kawan2 sgt at these age, sbb nanti akan jadi habit bila hormones dia betul2 berubah songsang...if you know what i mean.
last but not least, in the following 7 years, parents must be the children's best friend-must show the caring side of them, but still have the strictness in controlling children's activities. limit their expenditure, let them earn everything they want. x leh dpt bnda2 yang diorang nk tu dgn mudah, sbb nanti jadi anak manja, which is kindda dangerous, sbb they are growing older, not younger. if they have things their way even in the last 7 years, nahaslah. bahaya sangat2! parents kena pandai bagi muka & be strict at the same time. i'm glad actually that my parents have taught me well & brought me up pretty well. i kindda am a TOUGH girl yang boleh survive on a land without anybody. well, i'm kindda alone here, it's a whole new environment & i still can survive without any problems so far. well, not chronic thingy-whingy. masalah teman sebilik nie dah terbiasa sangat nie, but i rarely complain to my parents, coz in the end, they know i can handle this situation myself. they need not intervention.
so, itu jelah yang ema nk ckp. the whole idea of mendidik anak nie is so that anak2 kita boleh bawak nama baik keluarga in the future, even when kita dah x dak kt dunia nie utk menegur anak2 kita. ema tahu ema x berhak nk ajar mak bapak mcm mana nk didik anak2, but i think this is a really important thing. kalau salah didik, walaupun in the slightest way, anak akan jadi x betul sangat. sometimes, kita fikir, 'kalau aku belikan anak aku apa yg dia nak, dia akan berubah kot' but ingatlah, sjauh mana la sgt anak2 kita akn stay BERUBAH? smpai dia jumpa benda lain yg dia nak? fikir-fikirkanlah...
Wallahua'alam...
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