first of all, i would like to confess that writing this entry isn't easy. looking for pictures for the entry was even harder, because there was him, acting cute and it brings back a lot of memories...of me, liking him.
to those who have no idea what am i talking about, here's the thing. there's this guy, Pierre Andre, he's a Malaysian, but his granddad is a French, therefore the name. he's an actor, director, writer...and he's a Muslim. i liked him a lot, since i was 15, because his work is clean, fun and exciting. his first appearance was simple, just a guy in the back, nobody noticed him. then, he started writing scripts for movies, and that was when he was acknowledged. i liked him a lot, i followed him on Myspace, watched all his movies, defended him *even though he'll never know* when people made fun of his name, i even dreamt he married me. haha..
just a few years back, he took some time off and got down to being a Muslim. he was nowhere in the papers, blogs...he was just 'gone'. after a few months, he posted a few pictures of himself in a 'kopiah' and he had some moustache. that was when EVERYBODY liked him. "wow, Pierre has changed! Alhamdulillah. this is the kind of man i'll love to marry" since then, everybody waited for his next move. they followed his updates. Pierre came to Kelantan, to study more about Islam, and got some advices from the ulama' in Kelantan. the ulama' gave him some guidelines on his next project, as Pierre wanted to do a movie that has Islamic values in it and he wished to have all the right elements.
a few months after that, he was engaged to a lady, who happened to be a part-time model. of course, he was free-haired. the world made accusations on him, saying stuff like, "He has changed right? why would he marry someone who is free-haired?" at one point, i did question his actions, but i pretended not to care. he got married, and i think again, "why her? why not other girls who wear scarf and cover their aurah?" that's when i got the answer.
EXPECTATION.
when one has changed for the better, be it a male or a female, there's expectations. imagine this. and i take myself as an example, so that it's easier for you guys to understand. i wear a long tudung now, but i styled it in a different way. say i marry an ustaz. he'd expect me to wake up as early as 5am to do sunnah prayers with him, and not fall asleep after that. maybe after we prayed, there's some time to spare, he'd want to recite the Quran with me. he'd expect me to pray with him (jamaah) for all the prayers. he would expect me not to sing songs that aren't Islamic. maybe we'd listen to IKIM FM, and he expects me to be cool with it. someday, he expects me to wear the actual tudung labuh, wear simple clothes and lay low. coz, that's what a Muslimah is all about.
can i do all this? insyaAllah, but i certainly need time. how long? i don't know. maybe 10 years....maybe more. in this case, if i were to tell the Ustaz *who's going to marry me* that i need 10 years at least to reach his expectations, do you think he'll accept me?
most probably he won't.
same case with Pierre. if he were to marry an Ustazah, or a lady who has solid background on Islamic views, she'd expect him to guide her, even those she knows most of the stuff already. i guess Pierre would be scared as well. how would you guide someone who had more knowledge than you about religion?
so, i understand. and i will pray for his happiness. and i hope he'd be able to change for the better in the future. InsyaAllah...
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