Women and dating world

Assalamualaikum readers.

Today i would like to write an entry about women and dating world. I read an article by a Muslim lady who went through a lot when she was going through "this phase" and Alhamdulillah, now she's married.

What she said in the article were mostly true. Wait, what did she said?

We, Muslim ladies were taught to not date or fall in love or be in a relationship when we were growing up. Parents forbid us for good reasons, and told us to study.
The right guy will come when the time comes. (my parents also said that)

And so we did study and work and focus on our careers. Then our age increases gradually. And our parents panic.
They start looking for candidates for us anf tell us to "get to know them" or go on dates with a stranger.

Ehem...excuse me.

How am i supposed to go on a date with a guy i dont know?
How to talk to a guy i dont know?
What do we talk about?
How long does it take to know a person?

And when the "spark" isnt there between the two of us, and the guy rejects, the first person our parents blame is...us.

-did you say something wrong?
-shouldve worn that new scarf i bought you!
-did you laugh too loud?
-did you play with your phone during the date?
-shouldve answered the phone immediately when he calls!

Mum, Dad...
I have no experience in this. You told me to study and not think about love and marriage when i was growing up.
Unlike my non-Muslim friends, they gave dated some guys in school, went out for movies and planned their future together after graduating university and college.
I was busy thinking about graduating on time and finding a job to plant my feet on the ground and start earning for myself.
I didnt have time to look for a guy, or go out dating. Because you taught me not to.

And now all of a sudden i need to suddenly know how to date someone, talk and text a guy on the phone and dress up for him?

No.

So please...give us space. We are newbies in this too. Our parents raise us up to become independent women who has education, job and stable income.
Yes, we might be a bit older by the time we enter this phase. But what can we do? We were raised that way.

So, give us a break. If we were awkward at first, just give us some time...try to get to know us better...if you wanna give this a shot.

But if you expect us to be like the characters from a novel or girls from the movies who dresses well and spontaneously says all the right things during the first date, first text and first call, we're sorry.

It takes a lot of patience...but isnt that what marriage is all about?
Patience and compromise.

Think about it guys.

Wassalam.