Toothless, the lost kitten.

Today, i dedicate an entry for a small little kitten which passed away this morning due to porvovirus.

I adopted a kitten at a cat center in Perlis near my workplace due to depression. I felt like my world was ending and i had no motivation to continue on with life. I decided if i divert my attention to a pet, it would help me. Like, i am given a task to give this pet attention and happiness.

I went in the pet center looking for a kitten. And the owner said she had kittens for adoption, and also kittens for sale.
I saw this poor little kitten staring at me, with sad eyes, sitting closely to his mates in the cage. He was a little kitten, about 2 months old, very weak and had fleas all over him.

I named him Toothless. Why?
Because my late best friend and I shared a secret. That we would somehow adopt or buy a cat, name it Toothless and take care of it. Even though Toothless is not black, i just thought it was a nice name, in the honour of remembering my late friend.

I brought him back after i did some shopping. Spent about rm150 on cat stuff, from a cage to his litter box and shampoo.
Then i swept the floor, mopped the room and set everything up. He walked around the house, didnt meow at all, slept with me on the bed. I woke up at 2am in the morning, watched it walk around a bit then fell asleep. And again i woke up at 4am just to check on him and slept again. At 6am, he bit my arm. Ouch!

To cut the story short, he was kindda enjoying his life, but sadly a few days after, his appetite reduced and he falls asleep a lot. He was lethargic all the time.
Last Thursday, i checked him into the center to be taken care of while i travelled to penang.
The owner informed me that Toothless had contracted Porvovirus, a deadly virus that kills many kittens and cats. Plus, Toothless wasnt vaccinated when i adopted him. The owner thought he was too weak to be vaccinated, so she planned to get him vaccinated when he is a few months older.

Unfortunately, he passed away this morning.

In rememberance of Toothless, these are the few things i'd like to share about my little kitten.
1. He likes to cuddle up with me or some thick cloths. I think it makes him feel safe.
2. He only meowed on the second day of adoption.
3. He has separation anxiety. Everytime i am away, even to the toilet, he meows, calling for me.
4. He likes watching Tv or videos on the internet, he is fascinated by the colours and movements.
5. He loves to explore. He walks around with his nose sniffing the floor, dirt and everything in it, and then gets confused as to how to get back to the room.
6. He learnt how to use the litter box pretty quickly, on the second day itself. He's a smart kitten.
7. He doesnt know how to play with toys...especially when i am around. I dont know why...maybe because he was sick.
8. He has extreme passion for the bathroom. Because the bathroom door is always closed, he likes to try and push the door open to see whats inside. He even slept outside the bathroom door a few times.
9. He's afraid of heights. But he loves to give a try at jumping and clinging onto the sofa and bed.
10. He doesnt enjoy shower. But he felt so much better with the fleas all gone. And he smelt nicer.

Gonna add picture of him soon.

Rest in peace, little one. I hope i've brought some happiness into your life.

Why nurses look so glum at the counter?

Assalamualaikum, readers...

Today my entry is dedicated to all nurses, mostly in the dental and medical department.

We always wonder why nurses don't have a friendly smile on their faces when we go to the counter for registration.

Well...i had the privilage to sit at the counter with the nurses and i too got a bit stressed and understood why they act sych way.

1. Too many patients.
- well, this is not a reason. But for a person to be asking the same thing over and over again like a broken record sometimes ires a person.
- some patients even tell stories of why are they at the clinic....at the counter. I know this may seem funny, but it gets irritating to some nurses, because they have to attend many other patients that are waiting behind the line.

2. Patients ask the same question over and over again.
- one or two patients who ask of the same question is fair enough. But if 50 patients ask of the same question...how would you feel?

3. Too mamy forms!!!
- if you've worked behind a counter in a government facility, you'd know there are just too mamy forms to fill.
- i work in one of the busiest clinic, and the nurses have to stamp a few stamps in the card, help.me chart the dentition of the patient, assist me in suctioning the patient's saliva while i work, prepare instruments and materials for the treatment, make sure the patient brings the treatment card and pays at the counter, clean up after the patient and then...
...call the next patient in.
And the cycle repeats....for the next 30+ patients.
- after all of that, the nurses have to gather data monthly on how many patiemts have been treated by multiple officers, check all the materials expiry dates and how much of them are left in the room and also some other stuff i have no idea of.

4. Irritating patients.
- sitting at the counter, patients sometimes come at their own sweet time (even though appointment has been given) and when the patient misses the appointment, the patient blames the nurses for not having sympathy.
- some come with reasons to postpone the appointment (that was given by the doctor) for some petty reasons. When they explain nicely to the patient, the patiemt refuses to listen. And the blame game begins...
- once, i received a patient who just cant sit still. He was an adult male, and he kept his hands behind his head like this is some dort of a spa. He kept moving and it was difficult for the nurses to assist me. She lost it and said sternly to the patient to stop move around. Imagine having to deal with patients like this....on top of all the workloads.

5. Long working hours
- this is dedicated to the nurses in the hospitals who work longer shifts and attend more patients, with lots of shitloads going on in the hospital.
- nurses on the dental clinic even though work from 8am to 5pm daily, they have to be on their feet for long and that tires them.

No matter what we been through, i know by right we, government officers and staff have pledged to serve the community with a nice attitude and sweet smile daily.
But this is just something to open up your minds and TRY to understand why they arent always smiling to you.

Im not saying all nurses are glum looking and pissed off all the time, just that when they have reached their limits, they tend to act certain ways. We are all humans. And we do make mistakes.
No matter how much we think we have done our best, there's always someone elese who finds whatever we do as bad.

In the end, it's always nice when patients come back saying Thank You and smiling happily as they leave the facility.

Thank you.

Mr Zorro, my plans...and him

Assalamualaikum readers.

it's been a looonnnggggg while since i've updated anything on this blog.

short updates on my life now:
- my sister got married in December last year and i have a new Brother! yayyy!!
- i got a job in Perlis. wehee!!
- my dad is no longer in pain. Alhamdulillah...

what's up with this Zorro crap?

LOL.

Ever since I could ever remember, i fell in love with Zorro, the character, not Antonio Banderas.
Mr Zorro is mysterious, tall, handsome i suppose, strong, a leader and a loving person because he owns a horse. haha...

He is an ordinary man in the day, but a hero at night.
he saves people from their misery, fight for their rights and rides his horse into the pitch black of the night....to who knows where.

and every time i feel like i needed a break, i would wish that Mr Zorro would wait for me downstairs with his horse, mask and sword, where he would take me on a ride, an adventure.

I don't see myself on a shrieking horse, galloping so fast, making sharp turns every now and then, because i would be peeing in my pants, my shawl would get tangled in the branches of trees and i would be screaming so hard, it wouldn't be fun anymore.

I rather see myself pouring my heart out to Mr Zorro, where he would listen, the horse would walk slowly, stop at a fountain or some vast field, where the moonlight is upon me. i would stare at the sky and breathe in the night breeze. i hope it doesn't rain though.

so who's Mr Zorro?
my future husband i suppose.

what has that got to do with my plans?

i went through some unpublished entries earlier and i saw an entry where i asked myself, what if Mr Zorro is a freak? scared of heights or has a phobia for horses?

then he wouldn't be Mr Zorro!

but i actually wrote that i would hold on to the rope myself, as terrified as i may be, and grip onto Mr Zorro with another hand, and we would walk together in unison. i felt it was unfair to let Mr Zorro carry the burden all to himself, so i kindda played Zorro myself.

(still don't get the plans....)

all my life, well, not exactly...

since the topic of my sister's marriage was discussed and brought up in my family, i've always expressed my opinions on what qualities i want in a guy.

1. great smile (that's the first thing i would look at anyhow)
2. tall (because i'm short, haha)
3. steady job (not necessarily a high ranking or all time people's favourite job like doctor, surgeon, engineer or teacher. i don't care if he earns lower than me)
4. awesome personality, funny to be precise (because i love to laugh)
5. non smoker

and that's when point no 3 comes in...him.

i found the guy. not exactly. he was right in front of me, but i never saw him.

and i feel like God is testing me with him. will i fulfill my promise, or will i run away?

so far i'm sticking to my promise, but i don't know how long will this last...

there are a few things that are making me second guess this.

- my mum and sister opposing this
- what my future would look like on my engagement and wedding receptions (because of my mum and sister opposing this in the first place)
- how he would be treated in the future if this goes on. will he be treated differently because he wasn;t my mum's favourite?

i know i think about things too much...but if he were to become my husband, i wouldn't want him to be bullied. or felt like he wasn't good enough for me.

and that's the reason i've been asking him over and over again if he would be okay with this. with me.

and his answer is the same as me.

"as long as you stand by my side, i would be strong"

the same thing i used to plan to tell my future husband. i will back you up no matter what, but i need you to be strong.

and it's easy and light talking about big decisions and important crucial things with him. he doesn't complicate. he eases things. he compromises.

all good qualities i am glad i found in him.

but again, i don't know for sure.

help me, pray for me.

if he's the One, let this thing work and last forever.
if he isn't, may Allah guide us through this chapter and opens up a different chapter for us.

ameen...

who's the protector-Allah or random objects?

Assalamualaikum, readers,

Today, we revert back to the side of me where we don't talk about love, marriage and boys. let's talk about superstition.

i am a Muslim. been a Muslim my whole life. grew up in a Muslim family, with Muslim practices.

however, somewhere in between, there is some blurred lines.

for instance, my Grandma recently told me to put some Quranic verse in the car. as a protection.

protection from what?

protection from the evil spirits, protection to the car, myself and whoever in it while driving.

i didn't argue much, but told her there is a Quranic verse (which is laminated by the way) in the glove compartment. 

then she passed me a gift, tasbeeh (beads) from an uncle who went to Mecca to perform umrah, she told me to hang the tasbeeh in the car, again, as protection.

well, this is where a lot of people go wrong. these were never taught in Islam.

so where did my grandma went wrong?

first and foremost, i would like to clarify that in Islam, we are taught that Allah is the protector. He is the Creator, He is the most Powerful.

that's why a true Muslim would recite some doa (prayers) before performing anything. because we want the job/activity to be blessed with His name. so that He protects the activity/routine from evil/harm.

however, one should also be reminded that just because you recite the doa, doesn't mean that you will be forever protected from harm or mishap. 

because, we all believe in qada' and qadar (The phrase means "the divine decree and the predestination"-Wikipedia) basically we believe that our fate has been decided long before we were made, and that everything happens for a reason.

but, we should never believe that the tasbeeh or Quranic verse in the car is the PROTECTOR against all evil/mishap. NO!

that is wrong.

same goes to when babies are sick, usually infants, the elders would believe it's because of evil around them. and that placing the Quran near the babies when they sleep at night would protect them, because the evils would be AFRAID of the Holy Quran.

but actually, Allah is protecting the child. so we should ALWAYS and FOREVER believe that Allah (God Almighty) is the only protector. so we should pray to Allah that the child is protected against all evil, or any sickness. 

this is just a rant, because i could never change my grandma's perspective on it. i think she knows that the ultimate protector is God, but somehow she still feels the need to just have the things there. 

but i hope you would understand the concept of protection in Islam. 

Wallahua'lam.

row on a boat or ride a horse?

relationship is never easy. and it is never a straight path.
(you'd think i was in at least 3 relationships. but i was never in one)

a lot of people were very sure of a relationship at the beginning of it, where the flowers were blooming on each sides of the garden, the river was calm and the weather was perfect for a date outside.

and then when they reach a hurdle, that's when everything is tested.

distance, time, work, trust.

then suddenly the flowers began to wilt, the boat started to rock and there is a storm. 

will you survive?

if you water the plants, if you don't panic on the boat and look for a shelter to survive the storm, then maybe you will.

but if you just stare at the plants, scream and panic on the rocky boat and just stand in the rain waiting for the storm to pass, then maybe you won't make it through.

but you would know how i love horses and Mr Zorro and riding into the middle of nowhere? (you'd know if you have been reading my blog)

i would like to address my future relationship as the horse riding experience.

i may be terrified of heights (i really am) and i've never went horseback riding before.

and i've never met my Mr Zorro, so i have no idea how he will be.

but if he has the patience and strength to help me on a horse (because i'm fat and heavy), then calm me down while i am on the horse freaking out if i would be okay, then maybe we would have a wonderful journey in front of us.

but hey, why is he playing the hero part and you just act like a princess?

okay. i will get down and dirty as well. 

if he doesn't like horseback riding, then maybe we could just walk with the horse. 
if he hates or has a phobia with horses, i will hold the rope myself, and he can walk beside me. we can accompany each other, gripping each others hands bracing for whatever that might happen after that. (what if the horse started acting out and gallop away? or what if he jumps and i let go of the rope?)
P/S: did i mention i am kindda paranoid of the possible circumstances of...EVERYTHING?

the thing is, relationship is a two way thing. you complete each other. you never let go of each other no matter what lies ahead,

if one is feeling like shit, the partner should make some tea and sit by the other on the couch, try to lift his/her spirits up.

if one is happy and delighted of a promotion, they should celebrate. hug, kiss or dance, order some pizza and have some quality time with each other. watch a movie or something.

life is simple. we complicate things. 

our brains do. 

other peoples words do.

don't let anybody else control your life, but you.

you made a commitment to each other. stick by each other. no matter how shitty things get.