the PERFECT specimen

the PERFECT specimen are here, come get yourself one!

ever heard of anything like that? or maybe anything like this? 

dia kuat sembahyang la, selalu pergi masjid pulak tu..

MasyaAllah, suara dia baca Quran...fuhh!

eh eh, dia tak pandang pun muka perempuan tu bila bercakap...wahh!

setiap hari pakai kopiah, sejuk mata memandang...

how perfect is PERFECT?

pretty sure you've heard of anything like the above among the girls. hey, wait, so boys don't think like we do? ehem ehem...i think they do. i don't know about the non-Muslims, but practically these are what i usually hear from the Muslim girls. i guess we judge before we take any steps. like when you see the guy is so cool, and so Islamic, you're so afraid to even talk to him, because slightly, you have fall for him. and so, you adore this guy from far. in some cases, they randomly see someone and they fit in the above categories and instantly, they would want to have that guy as their husband, because he practices life as a Muslim guy. 

i don't mind if you wish to have anybody as your husband. but lately, there's been lots of conversations and exposure about marrying the right guy who would lead you to Jannah. and so everybody, and i mean EVERYBODY is dreaming and hoping for the PERFECT guy to become their husbands. the thing is, are you perfect ENOUGH for your husband-to-be?

i wouldn't wanna go far and pick anybody as an example. why not take me as an example? things would be easier to describe because i know me very well.

1- i wish to have a husband who prays on time and also perform the sunnah prayers. (meaning if he does this, he is good and 'alim' *sorta*)

~ but do i deserve a man like this to stand beside me when i perform my salah LATER than the time i should, which is immediately after the azan? do i deserve a PERFECT guy like this when i don't perform sunnah prayers? 

2- i wish to have a husband who recites the Quran with a nice voice, and that he could guide me in reciting the Quran as well. maybe he could tell me about the incidents behind the verses in the Quran as well.

~ but do i deserve this man when i sing in the bathroom louder than i recite the Quran? am i perfect for this guy when i rarely recite the meaning behind each verse of the Quran?

3- i wish to have a husband who never dated anyone or who has never fell for anyone, but me.

~ do i deserve this guy, when i kindda have fell for someone before, although i've never dated anyone? do i deserve to be his first when he isn't KINDDA my first? 

you see, the list of MR PERFECT goes on and on. but do you get the whole idea? you don't deserve the BEST if you ain't the BEST. but seems like a lot of people think even if they are not PERFECT enough, there's always a PERFECT guy to guide and lead them through. let me give you girls a situation. 

You are the girl who takes care of your aurah, you don't really talk to boys unless there's a need in talking to them. you recite the Quran everyday and you take care of your salah.

what if your husband to be is a guy who have been the HOT guy in school, who dates a girl every week, who snaps pictures with girls while putting an arm around the girls shoulders. who rarely recites the Quran and maybe doesn't perform salah besides the Friday prayers. 

Question is, will you agree to this guy becoming your husband?

definitely you'd say no. you deserve a better man right? the same goes to man. 

don't bring up the whole man is made to guide the women, so, they can get married to me even if i'm not really perfect for him, because it's his duty to guide me. man would want to enter the Jannah as well. imagine if they get married to a lady who is a troublemaker and he's supposed to guide her from the very first step, with his commitment to his parents and work, do you think he can pull it off? he might be able to pull it off, but imagine what would happen if he can't do it? he'd be questioned by Allah, the Almighty of why he couldn't change his wife. pity him. because of his wife, he can't enter Jannah. *writing this down has already made me all choked up*

so, moral of the story, if you wish for the BEST, you need to at least try to be the BEST. 

i hope i have at least changed your mindset about the whole PERFECT partner thing. do correct me if i'm wrong.

thank you. Wallahua'lam.