compare

people love to compare. compare in this context means a lot, a wide scope. from parents comparing our marks in exams with our classmates to occupation and life partners. people go on comparing. 
and tonight, i would want to open up a little bit about myself. and how people still is comparing me to others. since i was a little girl, i hate being compared to others, including my cousins. i have 3 cousins all of the same age, all girls. and we compete against each other when we were younger. but once i entered high school, i realized, i was losing the battle, and i told my mum to stop comparing myself and them, coz i will never be anything like them. i will never score that high like them. i will never be the top in my class, like them. i will never be able to speak as fluent as them. and so, my mum accepted me for who i am and stopped comparing me to others. even then, she can't help it and said, 'She got 1st in class' or 'she passed her add math paper, and you failed this paper. i'm worried ema. when will you get an A for add math?' and all i do is shout and scream and warn her not to compare. i told her this, 'i am me. i study my way. i don't care how other people study and i don't wanna know about it. stop comparing me to others, anyone! stop!'
and she did. she stopped telling me about how her friends' daughters scored. she shut me off her world. she let me study on my own, at my own pace. and, Alhamdulillah, with Allah's will, i did. i did prove to her, my family, myself that i can do this without needing any 'boosters' from my mum on how other people is doing in their studies. 
as you all know, i am a Muslim who studied 5 years in an Islamic school. when you enter an Islamic school, you are being judged by the community. the community wants to see how much i've changed since i entered the school. and trust me, they're not the only ones judging me. sad to say, my aunts are comparing me to their daughters who turn up to be a better person than me, despite the fact that they NEVER stepped into an Islamic school. it hurts so bad, knowing i'm supposed to defend myself, when i know i'm not that good, in fact, i know 'm very bad. 
i thought things would end there, coz now i'm a big girl, an adult i would say. but when i have another cousin who is 13 who entered an Islamic school, just like me, people have started to compare me and her. how quiet she is and how loud i am. how i listen to music, and how she's so lost from the world. how petite and shy she is and how spontaneous i am. how she not smile to strangers and how i smile and talk to strangers. every aspect! 
and how am i supposed to accept the fact that i'm great in their eyes? they look at me with respect because i am a Muslimah the modern way. but how am i to believe all this when the comparing thing still hasn't come to an end?

call it what you want

it's easier to advice people on telling people what they feel, but when it's me in their shoes, i can't. instead, i cry to Him. i failed. again.

it's just so hard. things are very simple actually, but knowing how much i love them, despite what they did, i can't. i just can't. i can't just let them know how much their actions are troubling me. i can't let them know how much their actions are disturbing my sleep, my studies, my prayers. i can't.
i can't let them know how much their words hurt me. so spontaneous, yet so sharp, cut me through the core. and there i stand, watching them, with a fake smile on my face. as if whatever they said meant nothing to me, as if i don't mind whatever that's been said to me. how much it hurts, yet they don't see it, they don't feel it.

what if it was me, saying things that are true, yet meant nothing, still they are the ones who make faces, and raise their voices, rolling their eyes...is it still my fault? things that are unrelated to them, and yet they still wanna feel hurt and mad at me. why? why bother? 
they pick on me, on how i eat, how i dress, how i speak and pronounce words, how late i am in catching up with things...and yet, i NEVER raised my voice. why didn't i? i'm not raised that way. i am raised in a way that even if its not your fault, you should be quiet, not pick up fights, coz that's just a waste of time. it's better to let your heart broken than letting someone else's heart broken. that's how i was raised. and i always feel guilty about everything i say after they raise their voices. and i apologize quickly, yet, that's not enough for them.
they still need to say these words, 'Fine, you won!' with their eyes all rolled. do you need to hurt me more?


no matter what they say to me, all i can do is stand there, and accept everything, even though deep inside, only He knows how much those words hurt my little heart. all i can seek for is strength from Him. i will try not to shed any more tears, but if i fail to do so...i'm not weak. call it what you want, but i am strong. 

in love...

he's the one with the most adorable smile
(far right)

this post is all about someone i knew-well, not exactly. i 'met' and 'knew' him through music. Ian Crawford. the name that makes me smile. a fresh, cute, young face, with undeniable talents. you need to watch out once his fingers hit the guitar strings. i was shocked, so, i bet you'd too. haha...


he's in Panic! At The Disco now, playing the guitar. and as i said before, he rocked the guitar-real hard! i have no intention of comparing, but this young fella is way better than the previous guitarist. *sorry*
(bet all of you will go on searching for Panic! At The Disco's former guitarist and then punch me in the face)

the guy with curly hair that tip-toed into my heart,
and will remain there forever

i was so interested in who this guy is and browsed through and checked out his music career. 
he was in a band called The Cab. he was very young then, barely 18 and he's known as the guy who 'saved' the band. no idea why. but that's what people say about him. 


he is a very low profile guy, the kind of guy i like. but, very talented. if you guys seen the concert where Brendon kindda injured his left ankle, and he went backstage for a quick ice-pack, and Ian was rocking the stage. i mean, outta nowhere, he rocked his guitar & entertained the fans! WHOA!

sweet! <3

but too bad, this cute guy's heart has been taken by a cute girl. she's very sweet, although i have no idea who she is. she's a more low profile girl, making them a perfect couple. i wish them all the best in life. and i love you, Ian.

people & thoughts

honestly, the best title to suit today's post would be PREJUDICE. but since i've already have a title post with prejudice before, i had to change la kan? hahaa...

okay, so today, i got an idea based on what just happened before. some people were talking about this one guy, saying he'd be better if only he has more faith in Allah and if he is more polite around people. and i went on saying, it's not fair for us to judge him for who he is on the outside. coz, in the end, these stuff is between he & Allah. who'd knew if he repented and now is a better guy in Allah's eyes? 

despite who he is and how he behaves with the world, i try to keep a good relationship with him. i want to have lots of friends. i want to get to know people, despite who they are. 

let's not have bad thoughts on others kay?

shocking!

What?

so, yesterday i was browsing to the blogs my friends FINALLY updated. and i read this girl's blog post and i was shocked. i mean, they really did break up. REALLY? OMG! i was shocked and stunned as i read through her comments on Facebook and how she was being all emo. luckily she privated her Twitter account. *kalau x, habis yg tu pun i stalk* 
but then one thing i know is everything happens for a reason and nothing is permanent.

Really??

sometimes, people are pretty confident the guy/girl is the one for them. they bring the guy/girl to meet their parents at a very young age, like 17-20 years old. and then, the guy/girl continue to study as usual, living life as a student. they think things will turn put fine, coz everything is smooth. one must remember that nothing is permanent. even if the person got married, that does not guarentee that both of them will live happily, forever ever after. no. that's not true.


so, leave it all to Him. in the meantime, protect yourself from everybody, preserve everything you can. you'd be thankful...

how to become a CHAMPION

Well, this is something I just came up with a while ago and I would like to share it with you guys.

Living as a student is a challenge. Well, that’s partially true. But do you know what the REAL truth is? Living as a CHAMPION in life, as in being a daughter/son to or parents, sister/brother to our siblings, friend, classmate, roommate, housemate, coursemate…and the list goes on. Whatever we do in life, is a challenge. Heck, marriage is a challenge as well!

So, I would like to ask you one question. Do you want to be a champion? This champion title I’m offering you will not be acknowledged by others, it’s not even close the title presentation like the ones you see on WWE RAW wrestlers. But one thing I can offer you is the pleasure to feel like a champ.

First of all, what’s a champion? How does a champion look like to you? a champion is a person who overcomes all obstacles in a given situation, fights bravely and ends up winning the battle with his head held high. Same here, to be a champion, you’ll feel satisfied that you can walk out of a battle with you head held high. But being a champion in this case is a little bit different. Wanna see why?

a champion is respected by others

1-      Champion in my context is a person who doesn’t fight over little stuff. They look beyond the given situation. They see if it’s worth it to fight for the thing they’re fighting for. If you think it’s worth it fighting over a candy or a seat in the bus, then you’re not a champion.

2-      Champion in my context is a person who is respected for who he is. You may think apologizing or making the first move means being a coward and not cool, but a champion does all of these without feeling ashamed. Guess what? In the end, you’ll end up with more people knowing you for who you are and they’ll not only love you, they respect you.

   -    Champion in this context means someone who isn’t afraid to apologize. You may think a champion should be macho and never say the word ‘Sorry’ to anybody, including their parents or friends. Guess what? A person who says ‘sorry’ is a respectful person. And the other person who receives the apology would feel great about you. by the way, saying sorry lifts up the weight off your shoulders, and you’ll end up happier than you were before.

-    Champion in this context is a person who tries not to make anybody angry or mad at them. They’d do whatever it takes to do this. They would try to limit conversations with the person who is not very compatible with them and find other alternatives instead. This is a champion. He tries to settle in a different environment, dependent on himself. Great right?

\-  Champion in this context is a person who is always improvising himself from time to time. everyday is a challenge to them, in a way that they must change to be a better person from a day-to-day basis. 

So, that’s pretty much it I guess. After all, these are my opinions, some may agree with me and some may not. But trust me, I myself tried on these and I feel like a champ, so why not give it a try. Be a champ in your own situations, and you’ll know it when you feel it. You don’t have to go around telling people you’re a champ. It’s enough that you yourself know you’re a champ! Good luck! =)

beginikah keadaan hati kita sekarang?
Nauzubillah...

assalamualaikum, para pembaca semua. hari nie ema nak cuba cakap dalam bahasa Melayu. kalau boleh x nak keluar pun apa2 perkataan bahasa Inggeris.
tadi, masa dalam dewan kuliah, ada sorang akak pelajar perubatan tahun ketiga masuk bagi tazkirah pendek pasal 'taubat'. sebabnya, minggu nie minggu taubat. 


tazkirah akak tu mudah je tajuknya. '4 Cara Mematikan Hati'. tapi ema suka cara akak tu cerita, sebab akak tu guna contoh2 yang mudah dan boleh diaplikasikan dalam situasi masing-masing. *mesti korang nak tau macam mana hati kita mati kan? jap, jap*


1- banyak berbicara
sepatutnya, kita lebih banyak mendengar daripada berkata-kata. tapi yang kita buat adalah sebaliknya.


2- makan berlebihan
seringkali kita bercakap, 'lapar lagi laa...' walhal baru je makan nasi ngan lauk ayam pedas. atau kita suka cakap, 'mulut ni rasa gatal. macam nak kunyah2' banyak makan nanti malas nak ibadat kepada Allah. mana x mati hati kita? 
ingat pesan Rasulullah: makan apabila lapar, berhenti sebelum kenyang


3- x menjaga pandangan
kalau kita nampak laki atau perempuan yang kacak atau cantik sikit, laju je kita cakap, 'cantiknya!' atau 'comel la laki tu...i like!' kadang2, kita tahan perasaan kita daripada mengatakannya kepada teman2, tapi sedarlah, bermonolog dalaman tentang yang bukan mahram pun dosa jugak. *peringatan untuk diri sendiri supaya berhenti melihat orang yang disukai*

4- bersama teman2 yang jahat
teman2 memainkan peranan penting dalam membentuk diri kita. kalau kawan2 kita baik, baiklah kita. kalau kawan2 kita jahat, jahatlah kita. kadang2, kita cuba menafikan dengan berkata, 'kawan sahaja x salah, pandai2 la jaga diri' tapi sedikit sebanyak akan kena jugak tempias kawan2 kita yg jahat tu dekat kita. mencegah itu lebih baik darpada merawat kan?
tapi jangan la pulak smpai kita berhenti terus daripada menegur kwn2 kita yang x berapa baik tu. berdosa kalau kita putuskan hubungan dengan orang lain kan? *peringatan untuk diri sekali lagi*
sesungguhnya kita termasuk golongan yang bertuah kerana sering ditegur dalam al-Quran supaya sentiasa bertaubat kepada Allah. Allah menjanjikan kita dengan janji2 yang hebat sekiranya kita bertaubat kepadaNya. alangkah hebatnya Allah? Allah menjanjikan syurga beserta air sungai yang mengalir di bawahnya. Subhanallah...cantiknya janji Allah, manisnya janji Allah. kalau nak, kita yang kena berubah. sebab Allah x pernah & x akan mungkir janji.


cubalah ucapkan kalimah 'Astaghfirullahal 'azim allazi la ilaha ila huwal hayyul qayyum wa atu bu ilaih'
tahukah kita bahawa kalau kita mengucapkan kalimah di atas sebanyak 3 kali sahaja, Allah mengampunkan dosa2 kita selama kita hidup macam buih2 di lautan? hebat kan Allah? macam2 dosa kita buat, tapi masih Allah menerima taubat kita. 

sama-samalah kita berubah kepada yang lebih baik. semoga taubat kita diterima Allah...aminn...

P/S: semua bahasa Melayu. macam mana? ok x? ^__^

bab hukum

malam nie banyak baca pasal hukum, so, ema nk kongsi sikit ngan readers kat luar. *x tau la readers yang baca blog ema nie ada ke x, but whatever!*


kita start dengan benda pertama yang ema baca, 'kenapa arak diharamkan di dunia tapi merupakan minuman ahli syurga?'
jawapan:
arak di dunia bersifat memabukkan. bila manusia mabuk, manusia jadi lalai. ada yang membunuh, ada yang berzina. tapi arak di akhirat x memabukkan. so, x delah bnda2 macam nie jadi kat syurga kelak.

Allah s.w.t. berfirman:

إِلَّا مَنْ تَابَ وَآَمَنَ وَعَمِلَ صَالِحًا فَأُولَئِكَ يَدْخُلُونَ الْجَنَّةَ وَلَا يُظْلَمُونَ شَيْئًا (60) جَنَّاتِ عَدْنٍ الَّتِي وَعَدَ الرَّحْمَنُ عِبَادَهُ بِالْغَيْبِ إِنَّهُ كَانَ وَعْدُهُ مَأْتِيًّا (61) لَا يَسْمَعُونَ فِيهَا لَغْوًا إِلَّا سَلَامًا وَلَهُمْ رِزْقُهُمْ فِيهَا بُكْرَةً وَعَشِيًّا (62) تِلْكَ الْجَنَّةُ الَّتِي نُورِثُ مِنْ عِبَادِنَا مَنْ كَانَ تَقِيًّا (63)

Kecuali orang-orang yang bertaubat dan beriman serta beramal soleh, maka mereka itu akan masuk syurga, dan mereka pula tidak dikurangkan pahala sedikitpun, – (Iaitu) syurga ” ‘Adn ” yang telah dijanjikan oleh (Allah) Ar-Rahman kepada hamba-hamba-Nya disebabkan kepercayaan mereka akan perkara-perkara yang ghaib; Sesungguhnya Tuhan itu, janjinya tetap berlaku. Mereka tidak akan mendengar di dalamnya perkataan yang sia-sia tetapi mereka sentiasa mendengar perkataan yang baik-baik; dan makan minum untuk mereka disediakan di dalamnya, pagi dan petang (sepanjang masa). Itulah taman syurga yang Kami akan berikan sebagai warisan pusaka kepada orang-orang. yang bertaqwa dari hamba-hamba kami.(Surah Maryam: 60-63)

boleh ke kita jabat tangan dengan orang bukan mahram? 
jawapan:
jawapan kepada soalan nie agak obvious. tapi ema perasan ada lagi yang keliru dan x faham tentang perkataan 'mahram' ni. so, sila beri laluan untuk ema jelaskan kat sini ek?
mahram maksudnya haram. kalau bukan mahram, maksudnya x haram. kesimpulannya, orang bukan mahram tu maksudnya org yg x haram kahwin ngan kita, aka, org yg boleh kawen ngan kita. so, siapa yang boleh kawen ngan kita (bukan mahram kita)? semua orang adalah bukan mahram kita kecuali ayah kandung, datuk kandung, adik atau abang kandung, saudara susuan kita, pak cik (adik @ abang kepada mak @ ayah kita).
adik ipar mak @ ayah kita x termasuk dalam golongan bukan mahram. kiranya, diorang boeh kawen ngan kita. abang ipar @ adik ipar kita pun boleh kawen ngan kita actually. so, kita kena jaga batas pergaulan dan aurat kita ngan diorang. 
sepupu semuanya boleh kawen ngan kita, mengikut hukum islam. kalau kita fikir sendiri, mesti kita cakap, 'eii, xknlah cousin kita sendiri nak kawen ngan kita?' but dalam islam, benda tu BOLEH jadi dan kalau jad pun, hukumnya SAH.
jiran2 sekampung, kawan baik (opposite gender) & orang luar semuanya bukan mahram.
jabat tangan ni part of aurat kan? so, golongan2 di atas yg ema ckp boleh kawen ngan kita tu, kita kena jaga batas kita supaya kita x berlaga tangan atau anggota mana2 ngan diorang.

Rasulullah S.A.W bersabda yang bermaksud:

“Sungguh ditusuknya kepada salah seorang dari kalian dengan jarum besi lebih baginya daripada ia menyentuh wanita yang tidak halal baginya.” (Hadis Riwayat At-Thabrani)

apa hukum rebonding rambut?
jawapan:
menurut sumber yang ema baca, x ada hukum yang jelas mengatakan haram atau harus atau boleh untuk seseorang itu meluruskan rambutnya. menurut sesetengah ulama, jatuhnya hukum haram kerana meluruskan rambut mengubah ciptaan Allah. kalau rambut seseorang itu kerinting, tetiba jadi lurus je. and rambut yang dah rebonding nie bukan senang nk return to kerinting balik kan? sama jugak kalau orang tu rambut lurus, lepas tu dia kerintingkan rambut dia. kedua-dua situasi ni lebih kurang sama. 
ulama yang lain pulak berpendapat bahawa kita kena ikut guidelines di bawah dlm penentuan hukum rebonding atau kerintingkan rambut:
1. Apakah niat dan tujuan rebonding?
2. Bahan apakah yang digunakan untuk rebonding?
3. Siapakah yang melakukan rebonding?
4. Untuk siapakah rebonding itu diperagakan?
5. Apakah kesan rebonding?
*kalau ada yang memerlukan penjelasan lebih berkenaan dengan guideines nie, bagitau ema, nanti ema jelaskan dengan lebih detail*

Sabda Rasulullah SAW bermaksud:

Sesiapa yang memiliki rambut hendaklah dia muliakannya. (Riwayat Abu Daud)

bersama Allah

performing sunnah prayers in the
middle of the night

sometimes we wonder how do we get close to Allah.
some of us already know the answers, but it's just too hard to be done.
the first thing to get close to Allah is to pray more. perform more sunnah prayers. wake up in the middle of the night, take ablution and pray to Him.
but then, some of us take the second option, which is fasting. fast more and you'll realize how much you're sacrificing for the day. MP3, lies, sleep and watching unnecessary videos are out of the list, making you a tougher person inside out.



but if those two options seem to be a little bit 'heavy' for you to do, there's always some other things you can work on.

zikr after every solah cleanses
your heart, insyaAllah

1- recite the Quran more. try not to just recite the Quran. understand what are you reading, you'll realize there's so much more you don't know about Islam
2- zikr more. simple zikr like 'Astaghfirullah' and 'Subhanallah' after every solah do the trick. start with 10 after every solah. increase them until 20 or more after every solah.
3- be patient. take criticism positively, remember He's always watching you.
4- control your anger. this is yet one of the hardest thing to do. but if you could hold your anger within you and try not to spurt it out to anybody, i think you're doing great. this takes time, but you'll be as happy as ever when you reach this point.

suatu pencarian

siapa pun kita, kita masih mencari. mencari apa sebenarnya? mencari kebenaran. apa yang benar yang perlu dicari? kebenaran berkenaan Ilahi, Tuhan kita, Sang Pencipta.


orang Islam pun kena mencari jugak ke? bukan kita dah tahu sejak azali yang Allah itu Tuhan kita?
pada pandangan ema, siapa pun kita, asal usul kita, kita masih perlu mencari kebenaran. apabila kita menjupai kebenaran itu, barulah kita lebih 'appreciate' diri kita & alam ini sekali. kita jugak akan bertambah taqwa, sebab kita yakin dengan agama Allah ini. 


sebagai seorang Islam, yang dibesarkan dalam keluarga Islam, yang membesar mendengar lagu2 nasyid Raihan, Brothers & Rabbani, yang masuk sekolah agama selama 5 tahun, ema masih mencari kebenaran yang hakiki.
zaman kecik2 habis terbuang dengan sikap & pandangan tidak mahu berkahwin kerana merasakan perkahwinan itu sesuatu yang geli, bersuami, beranak-pinak...siapa nak jaga orang tua? 
zaman kecik2 selalu dengar lagu nasyid, tapi x pernah pun faham apa yang diselitkan dalam lagu2 nasyid, main nyanyi ja ikut suka. 
zaman kecik2 dulu x boleh terima pandangan atau nasihat orang lain yang menyuruh ema pakai tudung & tutup aurat. pada masa tu, merasakan orang yang pakai tudung ni alim, x bebas dan x best.


lepas tu masuk sekolah agama. wajib pakai tudung! untuk seseorang yang x pernah pakai tudung seumur hidup, nak pakai pulak tudung yang labuh gila smpai ke bawah pusat, FUYOHH! memang dirasakan x masuk akal. tapi ema serahkan je pada Allah masa tu. Alhamdulillah, sambil2 duduk dalam bas, ema pandang luar dan ema fikir sendiri dalam hati. 'sebenarnya pakai tudung nie x delah panas sangat. rasa biasa je. rasa sejuk skit ada la kot' Sungguh, ema rasa sejuk bila pakai tudung labuh nie for the first time in life, and the time was about 2pm. Allah bagi hidayah la kot.
lepas tu, sedikit demi sedikit ema berubah dari segi pemakaian tudung smpai ema jumpa the one that suits me. then, sikit demi sikit, baju pun ema ubah kepada yang lebih selesa tapi still up-to-date. 


ema mencari-cari siapakah Tuhan kita. benarkah Allah itu Tuhan kita? ustazah banyak ckp agama2 lain sesat, macam mana kita nk tau agama Islam ini x sesat? Nauzubillah...but that's what i thought at that time. ema pun mencari jawapan yang sebenar dalam mata pelajaran yang ema amik. banyak belajar hadis, banyak belajar ayat2 Quran. Alhamdulillah, ustz ustazah semua berfikiran terbuka menjawab pertanyaan, persoalan. setiap hukum yang dikeluarkan Islam adalah tepat dan ada sebab yang munasabah. cara ustazah explain consequences kalau x keluar hukum tu sgt menarik. 


lepas keluar daripada sekolah agama, dah x dak siapa2 nak guide diri ema. so, ema beli buku2 agama, novel2 bercirikan agama. dalam novel2 tu, ema jumpa lagi tentang erti ketuhanan dan sesungguhnya, benarlah Allah itu Tuhan Semesta Alam.


x salah untuk kita mencari Tuhan. malah, Allah sendiri beritahu bahawa smpai satu tahap dlm kehidupan manusia, manusia akan mencari-cari erti kehidupan. and kita yang perlu berusaha untuk mencari kebenaran. kepada yang masih ragu2, teruskan usaha mencari kebenaran. cari kebenaran dalam agama kita sendiri sebelum kita menjangkau melihat agama lain. insyaAllah, we'll find a way.

i'm EXCITED!

this time, i would like to expose myself a little further. i am a very excited person. and when i say i'm excited, i mean REALLY excited. people are able to spot how excited i get in just a few seconds, being around me. it's kindda natural. i dunno since when i easily get excited, yup, but there's the thing about me.

1- if i walk pass my crush, i get excited. 
2- if my tweet is retweeted or replied, i get excited.
3- if my favourite doctor *i'm a dental student btw* enters the lecture hall, i get excited.
4- if i found out that my crush wears the same colour shirt with me that day, i do get excited.
5- if i listen to a very nice song *like Drops Of Jupiter-Train, Always-P!ATD, Beautiful World-Westlife, See The Light-Mandy Moore, Your Love-Brandon Heath, Notice Me-David Archuleta,  etc etc* i do get excited.
6- if someone cracks a joke, i get excited
7- if i win something, i get excited
8- if i watch my favourite singer @ band perform live, i get excited, especially when they do silly stuff on stage.
in short, i get excited easily and it's something i can't control. people do refer this EXCITEMENT syndrome i'm having as GEDIKSS. but do i look like i care? say what you want, it will not affect me as a person. i love making friends, and most of my friends are crazy people, keeping me excited all the time. haha... *i love my friends*


and so, that's just the other side of me, the EXCITED me. people sometimes refer me to as the excited one in class. i make friends easily and i don't take things for granted. i cherish all the good memories i have with my friends. and i guess, because i'm all HYPER and BUBBLY most of the time, i make good friends.. *ALHAMDULILLAH*

stating the obvious

i watched one comedy show in my laptop and there's this one comedian guy who said 'We, Malaysians, like to state the obvious' and he goes on talking on how we Malaysians call bald people, 'BOTAK' if we dunno the name of the guy. and how we call people 'GEMUK' if the person is a bit chubby.

but the thing i wanna state here is that not only Malaysians state the obvious in calling names. we, *in general* state the obvious. if a person said something not nice, then there is people who says, 'Hey, you know you're being mean?' and 'Don't say that!' 


in reality, we aren't the only ones doing this. sometimes they do the same thing but as i said, people only state the OBVIOUS. rarely do people think and reflect on themselves BEFORE they said what they wanna say. too bad, it's kindda too late once the words have been said.

reflecting ourselves is kindda the hard thing to do, but yes, we need to do it. once we do it, we'll feel better on ourselves. we feel as if we're matured and we've done the right thing, instead of BLURTING out to others. 
trust me, will you?

westlife-all coming to an end

i have no clue if you guys already knew about this but Weslife will depart in their own ways. very sad news but if that's what they wanna do then, we'll just have to accept their decisions and move forward. honestly, i only came across Westlife when i was 10 years old, i had a classmate, Rebecca and she's so crazy over Westlife. she was head over heels with Mark. at that time, i had no idea who the hell Mark is, or how many members were in Westlife.

but as time progresses, there's this one lovely song i loved so much when i first entered high school, AMAZING. the lyrics were so cute and they all looked super awesome in the clip!  

 And all I've been doing is protecting

A lie for the sake of my pride

While all the others set me thinkingWe could be more than just amazing

and then i fell for these people. one by one of their songs went into my MP3 player. i loved their vocals in each song. Mark & Shane play the main role while Kian & Nicky sing the lower notes and when their voices mix, KA-BOOM! an awesome track is produced. the other crazy fact about Westlife is that they rock their live performances. from the less mature performances, they moved on to more mature performances. no more funny stage clothes, more cool & slick. *i likee!* 


and one of the reasons why i think they're moving on with their own paths is probably because all of them, ehem, sorry, MOST of them are having family, with little kids running around the house and none of them would wanna miss these precious moments in life by going on tour.


Nicky was the first who started becoming a family man when his wife Georgina gave birth to two healthy twin boys. these two boys are growing these days and most probably in their kindergarten ages. no further news on Georgina being pregnant so far...hehee...


next, we have Shane. Shane have got three kids so far. but i lost track of how many girls and boys. sorry...but he has one tiny toddler now. and his eldest kid is a sweetheart and of course she's a girl. *this picture you're looking at is an old picture coz now he has 3 kids. but you can see the cute picture of his daughter. she resembles her mum more than Shane, but who cares. sorry i don't have their picture altogether as a family, with the toddler*


last but not least, we have Kian. Kian's wife just gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Koa in December 2011, if i'm not mistaken. and his baby is the cutest so far. he has bright eyes and his cheeks are so round. and he's so white! haha...


and Kian is currently one of the judges in The Voice British version. and he obviously proven everyone who thought he couldn't sing, WRONG! he sounds just as great as he was in the band. 


and before i leave, i would love to let you guys know that there's this one track that keeps singing in my head, coz it's such a perfect song from Westlife, to indicate the end of this band. this track is called Beautiful World.


i never thought that i was that strongto carry on, carry on tonightforgiveness in your eyes, with nothing to hideall I know is you've, shown meit's a beautiful worldit's a beautiful world

i bet you guys would go Ga-Ga once you hear this track. i wish them all the best in life...

timing

In life, timing is everything. If you’re late for a job interview, you’d not be picked. If you miscount your days on giving birth to your child, you’d end up giving birth at home. If you woke up a little late in the morning, you’d end up rushing to classes or you might not even be in the class.

Timing is everything. And I totally got BUSTED for wrong timing. Ha-Ha! I was driving my dad’s car, giving it a ride coz I miss it so much. I think I picked the wrong day to bring the car for a ride, coz there were so many cars parked in the area. I reversed the car, but there was a taxi behind our car, so, my space for reversing is a little limited. Once I brought the car out from the back, I was facing more problems, coz there’s a trishaw on one side and a huge car on the other. And I’m supposed to squeeze my dad’s car IN BETWEEN both the trishaw and the huge car before make a full turn coz there’s another car in front. OMG! Can you imagine what am I facing?? And just then, my dad was in front of me, and I thought I was doing a good job, but HECK, I was doing a lousy one, coz he got pretty mad.

Guess what? The front part of my dad’s car got so close with the car parked in front in such way that if I were to move an inch forward, I would have knocked the car in bright sunlight! And so, I parked the car and swore never to drive the car if there are so many cars parked in front. And my dad kindda warned me not to drive cars in USM. Haha… 

*err, am I supposed to laugh here?*

always have a heart to own a BRIGHT
yellow car. no idea why...

It’s time like this where I wish I am capable of getting myself a cute, cute car of my own. A cute shiny car. With bright car paint. And maybe some details on it. Oh, how I wish I was in a situation like that. And I would bring this car on the highway, on full speed, with both hands on the steering wheel, and I am smiling, coz I’m happy. And I would have the radio for myself, singing at the top of my voice. Hmm…and I realize it’s all a dream.

i miss you?

Am I allowed to say that I miss you? I miss talking to you like before. I miss you explaining things to me, like before. I miss chatting with you even when I have no clue what to talk to you about. I miss calling you ‘abang’. And trust me I mean it when I call you ‘abang’.

this is never gonna happen coz
u have a sister of ur own...

But what are we supposed to do when it has come to this. We’re destined to stay apart from one another. We’re destined to not talk to one another, God knows how long more. But I am okay with this situation, I guess. I mean, those hurtful words that you said to me, even though in was indirectly said, but it was still hurtful. Something in my mind keep telling me that it’s not you who said those words, it’s not you who meant what you wanna say at that time, but how can you undo things that you’ve said? How can you delete the hurtful things you not only said to me, but also my parents, sister and family? Don’t you think that’s a little too much? Don’t you think you’ve crossed the border a little too far this time around?

I don’t know what am I feeling now, but the thing is I miss you. that’s all. And how I miss you the way you are without her by your side. That’s the only way I feel I have you as my ‘abang’ back. With her, it’s all so messed up. But that’s just my personal feelings. Nothing more. I miss you, ‘abang’.

competition

ema tengok cerita 'Tare Zameen Paar' semalam, alone in the kitchen bertemankan Maggi semangkuk. as i was watching the 2nd half of the story, i realized something bizarre. life i competition. sejauh mana kita setuju dengan pernyataan itu? some may say yes and some may say no. but the truth is, life IS a competition. x percaya?


from the day we were created *not born eh* we have been introduced to competition. i mean, the sperms from our dad competed among millions of themselves to penetrate the wall of the egg from our mom. ain't that real? then, the cells competed with time so that they were able to divide completely and quickly, or else there would be defects in the child once he or she is born to the planet. right?


once the child is born, the child is competing among other siblings in the family, to seek their parents attention. *that's why children cry so much, don't you think?* not only that, they among all the other children in the nursery for food, toys and more attention.


and then, the child safely steps his foot into school. he thought school is about learning new things and discovering things they don't know, but hey? they must compete! education & school ain't about learning new things, it's preparing you for the world. competing against other people for work and position and money! 


i mean, my parents used to say, 'you must get perfect score, this is an easy exam' or 'if you don't score this time, you'll be grounded' and i bet other parents do the same too. but watching the movie was a little heartbreaking when the father and mother don't understand why the child is behaving in such ways he is. i mean, looking at his spelling, a mum by right should know that the child has problems in spelling. she needs to teach him how to spell slowly, coz he's a 'lil slow. a slow learner. but instead of giving him a chance to try, they sent him to boarding school, where EVERYTHING is a competition. 


and the story went on & he found himself a teacher who helped him out & he was brilliant again. Ta-Da! end of story. 

mixed message??

i'm sorry but i've been stuck in this situation for a while now. *i always get stuck in situations, don't i?* no idea why i always get stuck somewhere, but yeah, somehow i do get stuck. always stuck with people of the opposite gender...


this time, it is someone i know, pretty close. we've never met over the years and Facebook brought us together. it wasn't that obvious when i was in matriks, but got more and more CONNECTED since we met in the wedding & ever since then, BOOM! we got so connected. everyday we meet up in the chat room on Facebook. till that one night when everything was kindda hazy, i guess i sent him some clues that i do like him, although those were never true. something must've happened that night coz since that night, he's sending me all the positive symptoms that he likes me. scaryy...


i'm sorry if i did sent you those funny signs saying i like you, i don't. i don't take you more than just a distant cousin. i wish we could stay friends...stay normal.. 

ada beza ke kalau parents tau atau x?

guess what? these are my thoughts before:
1- perbuatan 'couple' itu adalah salah
2- kalau parents tau kita 'couple' ngan siapa, dah ajak balik rumah, then it's ok
3- x blh keluar berdua-duaan ngan yg bukan mahram
4- but then kalau parents tau where we are masa kita ngan that guy, it's ok

but then, thinking about it now, it's wrong! x kisah la kalau dah bwk jumpa parents atau x. even kalau tunang pun x leh bwk merata-rata, inikan pulak kalau baru je 'couple'. no no no. x dak excuse sebenarnya. so, ema la yang salah faham. actually bukan salah faham, ema rasa ema sengaja nak sedapkan hati sendiri by saying 'it's okay, as long as their parents know about it!' 

so, jagalah batas2 pergaulan antara yang bukan mahram. i recalled *just this instance, as i'm typing* that my ustazah when i was in lower secondary school, she told me that even if you and your fiance' wanna go out for a date, it is recommended that you bring along someone you know, a guy sibling in the family, as a protection. more like barrier actually. so that you & your fiance' won't go overboard. even then, i believe the girl and guy will not talk, the guys will do most of the talking. 

so, who should we bring along, in case we really wanna meet up with our fiance'? here's a list of people you could tag along on the date:
1- ur blood brother
2- uncle (dad's @ mum's brother, not mum's brother in law @ dad's brother in law)
3- at least 2 girlfriends (not recommended)
why did i say bringing 2 girlfriends along isn't recommended? according to my dad, a guy could 'pukau' *no idea what that means in English* a girl, or girls at once. and so anything can happen to you. but if you bring a guy along, he wouldn't dare do whatever he wanna do, coz this guy (mahram) you brought along can sense it. *it's a guy's thing i guess, non of our business. don't ask me how they sense it, i'm not a guy*
kan boleh tunggu smpai kawen, and then you can do whatever you wanna do, don't you think so?
i believe a guy who respects a lady will not do anything to the lady, even touch her hand, for he respects her. He would keep her for himself until the day they were declared 'husband & wife'. 

Cerita Si Penggunting Rambut...

Pada suatu petang, seorang lelaki datang ke kedai gunting rambut untuk memendekkan rambutnya yang agak panjang dan tidak terurus. Seperti biasa, si penggunting rambut menyambut pelanggannya dengan mesra dan mempersilakannya duduk.

Sedang si penggunting rambut melakukan kerjanya, mulutnya tidak berhenti bercerita. Macam-macam dibualkan menyentuh isu semasa dan kehidupan harian. Tiba-tiba si penggunting rambut itu bertanya suatu soalan yang agak berat.

“Tuhan ni wujud ke?” tanya si penggunting rambut.

Lelaki tersebut terkejut dengan soalan tersebut. Belum pun sempat nak menjawab, si penggunting rambut menyambung percakapannya.

“Kalau Tuhan wujud kenapa dunia ni huru-hara, manusia saling berperang dan benci sesama manusia? Tuan tengoklah berita, di sana berperang di sini berperang. Asyik bergaduh sahaja di mana-mana…” adu si penggunting rambut.

“Lihat di negara kita, sana sini buang bayi. Kes bunuh pun selalu keluar di akhbar. Masalah sosial lagi. Rasuah lagi. Teruklah!” sambungnya lagi menyatakan kekesalan.

“Tuhan tu ada.” Jawab si lelaki itu singkat. Risau melihat semangat si penggunting rambut itu dengan gunting tajam di tangannya.

“Kalau betul Tuhan ada, kenapa DIA tak selesaikan semua masalah tu? Dan buat semuanya jadi aman sahaja? Kan senang!” ujar si penggunting rambut yang umurnya 40-an itu.

Selepas beberapa minit berlalu, sesi guntingan rambut pun selesai. Selesai membayar, si lelaki mengajak si tukang gunting melihat ke luar tingkap.

“Encik lihat tak lelaki-lelaki remaja di sana? Dan pakcik tua di seberang jalan tu yang sedang duduk tu?” tanya lelaki itu.
 
“Ya, saya nampak. Kenapa?” si penggunting rambut bertanya kembali.

“Lelaki remaja tu rambutnya panjang, nampak tak senonoh kan? Dan pakcik tua tu pula misainya tak terurus nampaknya. Setuju tak?” Lelaki itu meminta pandangan.

“Ya, betul. Saya setuju.” si penggunting rambut mengiyakan sambil mengangguk.

“Mereka jadi macam tu sebab tukang gunting rambut tiada kah?” tiba-tiba lelaki itu mengajukan soalan ‘istimewa’ kepada si penggunting rambut.

“Eh, tak. Bukan sebab tu. Ni saya ada ni.” Si penggunting rambut menafikan.  

“Habis tu kenapa lelaki-lelaki remaja itu berambut panjang dan pakcik tua itu tidak tersusun misainya?” lelaki tersebut bertanya kembali.

“Tu sebab mereka tak datang jumpa saya. Kalau mereka datang jumpa saya tentu saya akan potong rambut remaja lelaki tu bagi elok. Dan pakcik tua tu pula saya akan trim misainya bagi kemas.” jawab si penggunting rambut.

“Ya, itulah jawapan kepada persoalan encik semasa encik memotong rambut saya tadi. Tuhan itu ada. Tidaklah bermakna berlakunya peperangan, pertelingkahan, jenayah, gejala sosial, rasuah di kalangan manusia itu adalah kerana Tuhan tidak ada. Masalah ini semua timbul kerana mereka semua tidak mahu ‘berjumpa’ dengan Tuhan.” kata lelaki itu.
Si penggunting rambut mendengar dengan teliti sambil mengerutkan dahinya. Berfikir agaknya.

“Mereka yang abaikan suruhan dan perintah Tuhan. Tuhan malah telah memberikan pedoman melalui RasulNYA dan juga melalui kitabNYA iaitu al-Quran. Malangnya, manusia memilih cara mereka sendiri. Mereka menjauhkan diri dari ALLAH. Jika manusia mendekatkan diri dengan ALLAH, tentulah keadaan manusia lebih baik dan sejahtera. Lebih kurang macam sayalah sekarang ni. Lebih handsome dari lelaki-lelaki remaja dan pakcik tua tu sebab saya jumpa encik untuk dirapikan rambut saya, hehe…”

“Betul jugak. Kenapa Tuan tak jelaskan pada saya semasa potong rambut tadi” Si penggunting rambut mengangguk setuju sambil bertanya.  
 
“Oh bukan apa. Saya risau dengan gunting di tangan encik tu. Dibuatnya encik marah nanti, tak pasal-pasal saya kena nanti…hehe. Tapi, alhamdulillah encik tak marah, malah dapat menerima penjelasan saya” Jelas lelaki tersebut sambil ketawa kecil. Si penggunting rambut itu turut tertawa juga.