i miss you?

Am I allowed to say that I miss you? I miss talking to you like before. I miss you explaining things to me, like before. I miss chatting with you even when I have no clue what to talk to you about. I miss calling you ‘abang’. And trust me I mean it when I call you ‘abang’.

this is never gonna happen coz
u have a sister of ur own...

But what are we supposed to do when it has come to this. We’re destined to stay apart from one another. We’re destined to not talk to one another, God knows how long more. But I am okay with this situation, I guess. I mean, those hurtful words that you said to me, even though in was indirectly said, but it was still hurtful. Something in my mind keep telling me that it’s not you who said those words, it’s not you who meant what you wanna say at that time, but how can you undo things that you’ve said? How can you delete the hurtful things you not only said to me, but also my parents, sister and family? Don’t you think that’s a little too much? Don’t you think you’ve crossed the border a little too far this time around?

I don’t know what am I feeling now, but the thing is I miss you. that’s all. And how I miss you the way you are without her by your side. That’s the only way I feel I have you as my ‘abang’ back. With her, it’s all so messed up. But that’s just my personal feelings. Nothing more. I miss you, ‘abang’.