is this my song?

i heard Taylor Swift's 'The Story Of Us' last night and as i listened properly, it seems to relate to me.

now i'm standing here in a crowded room & we're not speaking

& i'm dying to know if it's killing you like it's killing me and,

I don't know what to say it's just a twist of fate 

& we're going down.

and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now,

THE END

funny isn't it? 

usrah

semalam ema ikuti program yg menyerupai usrah di masjid. sgt best sbb kakak2 & abang2 kt situ semua best2. kak2 situ x control walaupun pakai tudung labuh. diorang main game ngan kita gak...tu yg best...plus, ema dah bond ngan kak mira. slama ni, x rapat sgt, tapi skrg ktaorg mcm dah kawan bertahun2. haha...ema tau byk psl dia & she does the same about me...hehe...
she accompanied me back to my room in  the middle of the night...really felt the connection between us. earlier that night, kitaorg kena kenal antara one another better as a group. nmpknya, kami nie sgt rapat smpai we know most of the stff bout ourselves. even kak2 usrah pun agree. i'm thinking of joining usrah, insya-Allah...not sure when, but i'll try my best. kak miera setuju nk ajk i skali if she wanna attend any of the meetings...me very happy...

choir

hari nie, ema feel much better but feel a bit sad as well. ema happy sbb blh practice choir ngan semua org & ema nyanyi notes tinggi yg x sgka ema blh nyanyi. hahaha...but then, part ema paling sakit hati hari nie is i tried playing nice with Mr Sarcasm. but he ended up speaking harshly to me. x payah la nk ckp kalau x suka. baik diam je terus. i spoke so gently, mcm ckp dlm tone yg normal. tapi dia x appreciate. malas nk layan...

tonight i wanna cry

i have no idea what to do or feel right now...i thought my darkest moment in life was over as i didn't receive the call for a whole week, but then i received the message just now & rushed off. it's all a big puzzle...i don't know how should i react, as i was very calm in the room...i am definitely stressed and shocked about this, but what more can i do? breakdown and cry? that wouldn't change anything...

tadi masa solat, ema sujud lama sangat, dlam sujud yg lama tu, hati ema merintih sayu, nk menangis, tapi roomates semua dlm bilik. kalau diorang x dak, mmg dh teresak2 nangis...Allah je yg dengar rintihan sayu ema, Dia yg paham situasi ema, mslh ema...all i can do is pray...pray harder than ever...

what happened?

sometimes i wonder what happened between us

there's no 'us' actually

just being friends like we used to

maybe that's too much to ask for

at least, can't we just smile at one another if we see one another

instead, what we do is the total opposite

we pretend we didn' look at the other

sometimes, i just pretend i didn't see you

and you do the same

but when we're online, we pretend like we're friends

even when i text you at the crucial times, you text me back

what are we?

friends? still friends?