a piece of me

Assalamualaikum, readers.
Today i'll share something about myself...
i am a girl who loves entertainment. music, dance, sports (i prefer cheerleading the participants), arts and crafts...you name it, i love them all.
And i honestly love music. i don;t know how or why, but i just love them.
i grew up listening to Michael Jackson and Raihan, a local Islamic band, then took a turn to meet Westlife (Seasons in The Sky was the first song i ever heard), and then came my Bollywood era. it was until i was somewhat in high school that i heard the latest pop music of Hollywood and the Malay-wood. 

having a dad who used to earn a living by singing, he encouraged me to sing, helped me practice for my nasyeed when i was a little girl. so, i've been singing ever since. and still am. *peace* My dad used to sing in wedding ceremonies, to entertain the guests, just for fun...and he still does! and i'm one of the loudest girl cheering for my dad!
when i enter a room of entertainers, i get excited. i get chills when i watch a live concert. i watched them over and over again, and scream along with the crowd, sing along and even clap my hands if they do some crazy stunts on stage. that's just how i am.
so, can you imagine what it'd be like if i was in a live performance, how would i react? yeahh, exactly! 

"Let me hear you sing!"

I don;t feel good to not cheer when i see people giving their all to entertain me, and yet i just sit there, legs crossed and leaning back in my chair, hands on my knees, with a look that says, "that's the best you could give me? meh!" 

if i could, i would stand in the crowd and cheer them all the way till the end. that's just me. i am like a little cheerleader. it's the adrenaline rush that feels so good after i've let it all out. i don't have any regrets after cheering, i feel good. 

but...

being a Muslim, this is not right. some say, clapping our hands during an event is not nice, because it gets us excited for the wrong reasons, you forget the reason you were there to learn something new, but after you clap or hands and laugh, your niat changes to just wanna have some good old fun. 

it is extremely hard for me to pretend i don;t feel like clapping or laughing at the jokes, when i feel like doing so...

guess what? that's exactly what i'd do.

in a conclusion, i know i will have to change myself for the better, but i don;t know when will i ever do so. hopefully, i will...