karma?

i sat very close to him in the cafe just now..

haizz...do i have to go through this everyday?

like...i know you, and you know me...

but you & i wanna leave 'US' behind...

cause, we're both afraid of what's gonna happen...

if people know we were friends back then...

people will start talking...

maybe that's the one thing you wanna change...

the one thing you don't wish you'd ever do again...

well, just so you know, 

i don't want this neither...

well, the only thing i can do is to face you everyday...

pretending i dont know you...

whether it's karma or fate,

i don't know...

whatever it is,

i wish you the best...

i wonder...

apa akan jadi kat aku kalau aku bukan Islam?

apakah aku akn berubah?

apakah aku akn mencari kebenaran?

apakah aku akn menyoal itu dan ini dalam agama aku??

nauzubillah...

ema bersyukur sgt2 ema dilahirkan dlm Islam.

tapi ema kadang2 fikir bila ema tgok muallaf lain...

kalau ema kt tmpt dia, apakah ema akn mncari kebenaran?

apakah ema akn mampu menahan segala dugaan?

apakah ema kuat?

hmm...this is what i do...

thinking out of the box la kononnya...
hihhi...tapi ema suka sgt nk tau kenapa org tu peluk Islam...
dan kenapa seseorg tu meninggalkan Islam??
ema x fhm dua perkara ni ja...
walaupun some of you may think that, 'cukuplah dia dah Islam, buat apa nk tau kenapa dia masuk Islam?'
tapi ema nk tau gak...
ema mungkin x nmpk the special part of Islam yg dia nmpk..
sometimes, bnda2 kecik yg kita anggap remeh adlh bnda2 yg buatkn diorang peluk Islam.
so, ema nk tau...just curious...

menemui Pencipta

semalam, ema mendapat berita dari kakak ema, mengatakan nenek saudara ema masuk ICU kt Adventist Hospital. nenek saudara ema tu mmg dah lama sakit, kena buat operation tulang belakang, but then operation kena postpone sbb she wasn't in a good shape. so, dia berehat 3 bulan kat rumah. tetiba dia sesak nafas kt rumah. bila hntar pegi hospital, doctor ckp liver failure. so, she was in the ICU for almost 36 hours, and yesterday midnight, the doctor kindda gave up hope. her family members brought her back to her house. x brapa lama lps dia smpai rumah, dia pun menemui PenciptaNya.

ema agak terkejut, sbb it happened too fast. she just got back & she passed away. bt then bila pikir balik, it's a good thing. she had been suffering for quite a long time. it's been months now. mungkin Alah nk mudahkan urusan dia. harap2, dia tergolong dalam golongan yang beriman, yang disayangi Allah...she was a good person, warm and easy to talk to. i just hope people can accept her loss in a good way...insya-Allah...
walahualam...

tension...

what am i feeling right now? me have no clue...on one side, i'm feeling a bit sad coz my nenek saudara is kindda ill in the ICU...she was doing fine all along, and now they are saying that her liver kindda broke down. i received a call & text from my sister claiming that thh doctors already gave up their hopes on her...she is 100% breathing on a ventilator. oh god!! i can't imagine how much pain is she going through and how are the family holding on...

on the other hand, i'm stressed with myself, always feeling like running away from the lecture notes that are stacked evenly on my rack...oh, man!!! i made a time-table last night & i thought i might be able to ORGANIZE myself in such way that i will not fall apart. but, wallah...i'm falling apart now...

apart from that, i have a roomate, who also sits right next to my desk who is a K-Pop freak. she downloads stuff from the net almost every day...then, she plays them over & over again...oh, man!!! i always hope she'll wake up really late or sleep really early, coz with that, her comp would be switched off & she would be quiet...i know i sound like a mean girl, but that's how i feel honestly...

i love you

terkejut baca tajuk post k?? i'm not saying out my love to anybody...hahaha...i'm just very much confused with my own feelings now, so just ignore me k? hahaha....does that mean i THINK i love someone?? hehehe...let's just not go there k?? we'll see what happens at then end of these 5 years...

it's hard when people around you are talking about love & marriage almost every day. susah tau x?? and you will start to think of a few faces...hehehe...and you wonder if you will even find the ONE & get married & have kids...then, you'll think, will i be working then? then you'll think again, will i ever graduate? hmm, then you'll think again, will i ever get through the first year without failing & repeating?? huhuhuh....scary huh??

so, then, i'll push aside all of these crap aside...and ignore them who are talking bout marriage...i continue thinking about now...the present time...let the future be in His hands. He knows who will i marry, or will i ever marry someone...insya-Allah, ema terima keputusanNya...

by the way, i really love this part of the song, 'Goodbye' by Avril Lavigne.

Goodbye, brown eyes

Goodbye for now

Goodbye, sunshine

Take care of yourself

ok ok...ema x mau elaborate panjang, karang korang pikir lain2...dah dah...ema nk baca nota...hehehe....bye...